Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Gotham Schools Is My Crappy Girlfriend

Almost everyone passes through a phase where they are attracted to someone who is no good for them. You know what I mean--that cute person who you'd love to get a date with, but when you do, the flaws begin to surface. You start to notice their whining voice. Their opinions, which once seemed charmingly fresh, now make you wince. After a while, everything they do starts to annoy you, to the point where you either must break up or make plans on how to dispose of the body.

That's how I feel about Gotham Schools. Once, I loved them. I could find all the news I wanted with a single click. And the interface??? A thing of beauty. So complete and organized! And then....a few flaws started coming out. Was it me, or were they covering charters a little too much? Did I detect a little anti-teacher bias? And what about moderating the comments--was GS starting to become a control freak? Finally, the last straw--Ruben Brosbe. That was when I knew: Gotham Schools had become my crappy girlfriend.

I wanted to know whether this was just a normal relationship phase, so I went to the Rise and Shine section this morning, and it confirmed my worst fears. The anti-teacher bias made me feel like I'd just caught GS in bed with Geoffrey Canada AND Bill Gates.

Here's some of their stories and how they could have been written if GS really, really cared about me, which obviously they DON'T. (Revised headline in italics):

The city could lose $44 million for needy schools if it can’t make a teacher eval deal.

The city is blackmailing teachers over the eval deal by claiming they'll lose money for schools they fully intend to close anyway.

The city has fined 10 teachers for inappropriate comments about gender and race.

The city has not had to fine 79,990 teachers who act appropriately all the time.

Two charter high schools run by New Visions are among those that might not open.

A few charter folks will be unhappy if the UFT manages to save schools slated for Bloomberg's guillotine.

Two months into his chancellorship, Dennis Walcott is keeping a blistering pace.

Two months into his chancellorship, Dennis Walcott has managed not to do a single thing differently than Cathie Black or Joel Klein.

Students who were shut out of city high schools at first found out last week where they’ll go.

Bloomberg fucked up high school admissions again.

Don't you see, Gotham? We've grown apart. No, no--it's too late to say you'll change, or that you're really not biased. I'm sure you'll meet some other teacher--one who's more in tune with the way you think. We'll both be happier.

Is that a knife???


Pete Zucker said...

Be daring. Ask them to remove the link to your blog.

Anonymous said...

We want as many people as possible to read Mr. Talk. He shouldn't ask them to remove the link.