Michelle Rhee was nice enough to write an
opinion piece for the Daily News urging NYC teachers to agree to an idiotic contract like the one she shoved down the throats of DC teachers. It was about as poorly written an article as you'll ever see from a so-called educator. As one of those teachers she'd like to fire, I thought I'd help proofread the thing, which clearly never occurred to Rhee herself. Paragraphs in italics are hers.
For two-and-a-half years, the District of Columbia Public Schools were locked in a difficult negotiation of a new collective bargaining agreement with the Washington Teachers' Union.Since the bargaining agreement is a specific thing, it should be referred to by the definite article
the, not the indefinite article
a.
New York continues to operate under a contract that is much more focused on arcane rules, seniority and job protections than about how to promote better learning outcomes for kids.
Commas should be used to separate three or more words in a series: arcane rules, seniority, and job protections...
The D.C. contract includes many provisions that were once considered "sacred cows," but as it turns out, were wholly embraced by our teachers.It's hard to tell why Rhee used quotation marks around "sacred cows". Perhaps she used them to indicate irony, as in
Michelle Rhee is a wonderful "person". It remains unclear why teachers are embracing cows, however, sacred or otherwise.
Our agreement gives the district the ability to implement a pay for performance system - paid for with private money, and voluntary for teachers...
If you implement something, it isn't voluntary, as in "The state decided to implement the death penalty, but the prisoner chose freedom instead."
If a teacher is rated as "ineffective," she is immediately terminated from the system. If rated "minimally effective," he has a freeze on his pay raise and after two years is terminated. Further, teachers cannot grieve their ratings, they can only grieve procedural errors.Well, this is just a mess. It seems that she will be terminated, he will have a wage freeze, and they can not grieve procedural matters. Seems pretty sexist to me. Either that or Rhee doesn't know how to use pronouns. Also, the last sentence is a comma splice. Tsk, tsk.
In exchange for these reforms, teachers are receiving unprecedented levels of support, resources, professional development, voice in decision-making and pay - an increase of 20% over previous salary levels (with additional bonuses making it possible to make twice as much).Again, Rhee has trouble with words in a series, so she puts in a hyphen and hopes we don't notice. It should have read "...decision-making and pay, and an increase...".
...the school district and city have to direct every available resource toward the classroom to student achievement.
This sentence construction made me cringe. I think she means "every available classroom resource toward student achievement." I think.
The city today wastes $100 million a year...
Today we do it in a year?
As any effective organization would, the Department of Education has to have to right to conduct layoffs by performance...
I believe she means "the right".
...she is very much able to see the direction the nation is heading in...
The "in"? Take it out. And "very much able"???
Joel Klein can't say this but I can: We have too ineffective teachers in New York City classrooms...Actually, my dear Rhee, you apparently can't say it, either. Did you mean:
We have two ineffective teachers?
We, too, have ineffective teachers?
We have too many ineffective teachers?
I think the correct way to say it is "We have two ineffective chancellors."
I've been called "anti-union" for my stance. I refer to it as "pro-kid."
Once again, I assume Rhee is mistakenly using quotation marks to indicate irony; however, only the second usage has any ironic meaning whatsoever.
