Sunday, October 16, 2016

Mr. Tangerine Man

As an homage to the newly crowned Nobel Laureate Bob Dylan, I thought I'd update the lyrics to one of his most famous songs. Sing along if you like. And remember that Dylan's odds of winning the Nobel Prize were 50-1. Trump's odds of winning the presidency are much higher.


Mr Tangerine Man

Hey, Mr. Tangerine Man, tell a lie for me
I'm not thinking and there is no way I'm going to
Hey, Mr. Tangerine Man, tell a lie for me
In the Cheeto colored morning I'll come following you

Though I know that our great empire is crumbling into sand
Running through your tiny hands
While wetbacks steal our land they're out there creeping
Hil's weariness repulses me, but you're still on your feet
At three AM you tweet
About sex tapes and my sheet's too wet for dreaming.

Hey, Mr. Tangerine Man, tell a lie for me
Don’t like Muslims and there is no way I'm going to
Hey, Mr. Tangerine Man, tell a lie for me
In the Cheeto colored morning I'll come following you

Take me on a trip upon your magic swirlin' hair
My senses aren't all there, my mind has lost its grip
My toes they itch to march, wait only for my boot heels
To be goosesteppin'  
I'll follow Donald anywhere, I'm ready for the wall
Build it ten feet tall, keep the Mexicans away
Please promise they can't get under it. 


Hey, Mr. Tangerine Man, tell a lie for me
I won't tire of winning, there is no way I'm going to
Hey, Mr. Tangerine Man, tell a lie for me
In the Cheeto colored morning I'll come following you

At rallies you might hear our hand guns, clicking madly through the sun
We’re not aiming at anyone
Til this rigged election’s done
And the Second Amendment becomes our sole solution
And if you hear vague rantings of Making ‘Murica Great
Just take us back in time
When we could grab a girl’s behind
And no one paid it any mind
And there were only twelve amendments to the Constitution

Take me disappearing through the cobwebs of my mind
Back to a simpler time
When America was white
Darker people feared the night
And healthcare was not a right
And back when women weren’t so god damned fussy.
Yes, to peep at beauty pageants,
With one hand waving free
Crawling up her knee
Until I reach her thigh
With little Donny getting pert
As my hand ascends her skirt
And forget that I am wed and grab her pussy.

Hey, Mr. Tangerine Man, tell a lie for me
I'm not happy and there ain't no way I’m voting blue
Hey, Mr. Tangerine Man, tell a lie for me
In the Cheeto colored morning I'll come following you

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