Summer Randomness

Summer's here, and in keeping with the general laziness of the 95 degree day, I decided I'd post some random thoughts rather than some long screed.

First off, I am going to miss the DOEnuts blog. Although it is continuing with a new blogger at the helm, I will sorely miss the wit and wisdom of the original.

NYC Educator wrote a piece I was thinking about the other day on not letting retirees vote. When I researched the idea, however, I discovered that the UFT actually still charges dues to retirees--albeit half the rate of teachers and based on their actual retirement allotment. While this amount is way less than most teachers pay (figure about 1200 a year to maybe 300), if retirees are paying in, they should have a voice. Contracts and UFT leadership are matters that do affect them. It's not the fault of retirees if only 17% of teachers can be bothered to vote. What if, on the last day of school, those who vote get their paychecks at noon, and the apathetic get theirs after the usually scheduled extended day? I bet we'd get a lot more votes then.

There's a lot of buzz about the Badass Teachers Association (BAT) on Facebook.  Their mission is: "...to engage in discourse that improves our profession." Really? Does the word "Badass" in the name really help us engage in discourse or improve our profession? It sounds more like we're looking to pick a bar fight. Picture the debate on MSNBC's Education Week: "Today, the president of Students First will debate one of the founders of the Badass Teachers Association". We lose before we start. Also, on an even more petty note, shouldn't the acronym for "Badass Teachers Association" be BTA, or if you count "ass" as a separate word, BATA? I guess those aren't as badass.

I've spent a LOT of hours this vacation playing the PS3 game The Last of Us, which is about a post-apocalyptic world overrun by infected humans (who are NOT zombies, although you wouldn't know by looking at them). This game is like a great movie, except you get to be in it. You play it mostly as Joel, whose teenage daughter was killed when the epidemic began and who is tasked, 20 years later, with escorting a 14 year old infected girl named Ellie across the country in the hopes of using her DNA to find a vaccine. It is easily the best game I have played in the last decade--maybe ever. It totally sucks you in by forcing you to make an increasingly troublesome set of moral decisions about survival as you try to protect Ellie and keep yourself alive. I mention it because in the post Common Core world, I'll probably never get to discuss this game with my students. But it had the exact kind of story they would care about. I would love to get the graphic novel versions of this tale and let them debate the moral decisions they would make.

Bill Thompson? Really? I mean, if you're losing by a fairly wide margin to a guy who sent pictures of his johnson to random women on Twitter, you're in trouble. Might be time for Thompson to break out the Viagra and cell phone cam to see what he can come up with. Christine Quinn is on her own.

George Zimmerman is going to walk. Or at worst, get hit with the lowest manslaughter charge Florida allows and be sentenced to time served. This is 'Murica.

I am shocked that more people are NOT shocked at being spied on by PRISM and President Obama.  But judging from my real life Facebook feed, there's no shortage of people willing to share their most intimate thoughts and deeds with the world at large. Maybe they're just happy that someone is reading their status updates at all.

Campbell Brown seems to think that an unproved allegation against a teacher should be grounds for dismissal. I have to wonder why she doesn't rant about Kevin Johnson, who paid a $230,000 settlement to a 16 year old girl who accused him of molesting her. It might be that he's married to ed reform rock star Michelle Rhee, while Campbell herself is married to another ed deformer, Dan Senor.

Since New Yorkers seem hell bent on punishing "perv" teachers but equally determined to elect perv politicians, I'm surprised that Kevin Johnson hasn't thrown his hat in the ring. He could give Weiner a run for his money, and if elected, he could make his wife chancellor. While the idea makes me shudder as a teacher, as a blogger the "Weiner vs. Johnson" puns would almost make it worth while.

Mr. Talk Predicts: Your Guide To 2013

As many of you are aware, I have an uncanny knack of predicting the future of the NYC public schools. I don't wear this fortune teller's hat because it's a babe magnet, you know.

We have an interesting year ahead of us, with a contract to be negotiated, evaluation talks, an outgoing mayor, a union election, and more. Here are some of my prognostications for the new year:

Despite the fact that "Waiting for Superman" failed to influence anyone and "Won't Back Down" earned less money than I currently have in my couch cushions, the reformers will once again try to use entertainment to sway public opinion. Reformers will pick a new genre, as documentaries and fictional movies have failed to click. To that end, StudentsFirst will present "Rhee-formers on Ice", an entertainment extravaganza starring Michelle Rhee as the Ice Queen, who will skate a bloody figure 8 into a senior teacher's chest in the finale. Kevin Johnson will co-star as the uncle no one will let near their children.

The UFT will continue breaking off large chunks of our contract and handing them over, gratis, to the city. Mulgrew will call each of these events a victory, and talk about how glad he is to have a seat at the table, even as he pulls the chair out from under teachers.

Teacher's Choice will survive, but in a new format. Rather than giving each teacher the current whopping $45 a year for classroom supplies, the city will finally increase that amount to $1000 per teacher. Unfortunately, that money will come directly from teacher salaries. Michael Mulgrew will promote this idea because "teachers already spend more than $1000 dollar a year each, on average. Making it official gives us leverage with companies like Staples, who want our business." The UFT will declare this a victory for teachers.


Despite no contract, a sellout evaluation agreement, and a loss of vacation days due to Sandy, Mulgrew will win re-election as UFT president. Only 25% of UFT members will vote. The other 75% will express surprise that there was even an election. This will be the only victory that the UFT will declare in 2013 that will actually be a victory, albeit not for the teachers themselves.

In a surprise move, Anthony Weiner will throw his hat into the mayoral race. He will immediately grab his hat back when he realizes it was the only thing covering his genitals. His campaign slogan, "Go Big with Weiner!" will be a huge hit with bloggers everywhere. The UFT, in keeping with their history of supporting wieners in elections, grants him an endorsement. Weiner will win the election and Mulgrew will declare that his endorsement gave Weiner the momentum he needed to thrust himself to victory, causing the city to come together.

To no one's surprise, this blog will continue making Weiner jokes in 2013.

Mayor Weiner will choose erstwhile Gotham Schools blogger and celebrated E4E asshat Ruben Brosbe as Chancellor. He will cite Ruben's extensive experience at not achieving tenure as a major plus. "None of our three previous chancellors had any real experience in the classroom," Weiner will say. "Brosbe actually taught and failed to achieve tenure, which will inspire future teachers not to expect tenure, either."

Although there will be no new teacher's contract in 2013, it will be a year of innovative deals, such as giving in on teacher evaluations in exchange for a promise of 'economic credit" in the event a contract is ever signed. This will lead to a pinky swear on the Danielson Framework, a cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die ATR agreement, a hand-to-God paperwork reduction agreement, and a swear-on-my-mom's-life no charter school pledge. Mulgrew will hail all these innovations as a victory for the union. In a shocking turn of events, Mayor Bloomberg will reveal that he had his fingers crossed the whole time. Anthony Weiner's "No Take Backs" pledge will turn the tide in his favor and sweep him into the mayor's office.



Some quick predictions to round things out:

• At least one of your admins will be a dick.
• Cathie Black's emails to Bloomberg will finally be released.  The most damaging revelation will be that she referred to the mayor as "Poopsie".
• Reformers will claim that everything they do is for the kids, even if they propose tying students in potato sacks and beating them with ball peen hammers.
• Eva Moskowitz will begin planting flags in the public schools she wants to take over and claiming them for "The Country of Moskovia".
• Evan Stone and Sydney Morris will marry, but only so they can spawn more members for E$E.
• Diane Ravitch will continue to defend public schools and sound educational policy by typing more on her blog and Twitter feed than seems humanly possible. It will be revealed that she also types with her feet.
• Arne Duncan will bring phonics back to schools, but only after he gets tired of everyone pronouncing his name "Arn" instead of "Arnie".
• Mayor Bloomberg will continue to increase class sizes while pushing a law to reduce the size of a "large fries" to whatever can fit in a urine sample cup. 
• The mayor's push to eliminate guns will take up a larger and larger amount of his time. This will result in dramatic improvement in the schools.
• Michael Mulgrew will declare all of the above a victory for teachers.

Add your own predictions to the comments, and happy new year!

Polling for Dollars

So, what do you do if you're an incumbent mayor who is still way ahead in the polls, but you've got a few billion dollars around burning a hole in your pocket?

If you're Mike Bloomberg, you start playing dirty politics.

You start attacking Anthony Weiner, who has not even announced his candidacy for mayor--who, in fact, has implied that he probably won't run. You pretend that you're conducting a poll and then you spread propaganda about the guy who isn't even running against you.

That's the kind of campaign you run if you've got a billion bucks lying around. And it's why we need to dump this mayor.