Saturday, May 7, 2011

A Farewell to Asshats

Now that the mayor has shot his load, so to speak, and threatened to lay off 4,100 teachers for a total of 6,000 fewer positions, I think the UFT needs to act. Listen, I am the last person who would, under ordinary conditions, suggest that we negotiate with this slug of a mayor, but I fear the time has now arrived. We have no choice. We need to strike a deal that will protect both teachers and the strength of our union.

I hate to say this, but I think we must follow the model set forth for us by the negotiators at Asshats4Educators. (I know this is blasphemous. Forgive me.) Say what you will about A4E, they understand the negotiation process. They have doggedly insisted that layoffs are about teacher quality, and that we must get rid of sub-par teachers. Toward that end, they have offered the city what it wants: some easy targets to slate for elimination, such as rubber roomers, ATRs, or anyone rated U over the last 5 years. The UFT has, thus far, staunchly defended these groups, and rightly so. Teachers have routinely been brought up on false charges or had their schools closed through no fault of their own, so it makes sense to protect them. Yet we must give the city something--throw some red meat to the sharks, so to speak, so that the rest of us can escape, A4E style.

So, I'm offering a less than modest proposal: If the mayor insists on layoffs, let's not stand in the way. Let's offer them the Asshats.

That's right. There are 1600 Asshats infesting the city's schools, according to the Asshats themselves. If we offer them to the city along with the 2000 jobs lost through attrition, the total would be 3600--close enough to 600o to strike a deal.

Think about it. What would the city lose if we turned the Asshats into chum? Not much. The vast majority of Asshats are temporary employees who will flee the system as soon as the economy recovers or Bill Gates offers them a cushy job. Would the public schools be diminished if Evan Stone and Sydney Morris lost their jobs? They hardly work now!

Let's look at some of the other jewels in the Asshat crown. Ruben Brosbe, for example, stuttering mouthpiece for A4E, constantly celebrates his own incompetence in the NY Post and Gotham. His TDR scores were so dismal that he apparently fled to 3rd grade, where he would not receive a report.

If there's even one bad apple like Ruben in A4E, it's safe to assume that all Asshats should go, isn't it? I mean, they routinely assert that rubber roomers and ATRs should go because a few of them may be guilty. Why shouldn't that apply to Asshats, as well?

And it's not like there are just a few of them. Michael Loeb, for example, is another A4E stooge who seemingly can not write a coherent paragraph. Would the system miss him?

Of course, you could argue that by picking A4E for extermination, I am biased against newbies, but that is not so. Also sent packing would be senior Asshats like that boob who had her clock cleaned by Julie Cavanagh on NY1.

And as long as we're throwing people under the bus, I'd recommend firing anyone with a douchebag hipster beard.

So that's my proposal. What do you think?



Pissedoffteacher said...

I like the way you think.

in a quandary said...

Ha! Excellent idea!

harvey said...

RBE I like your logic ...the doo-doo derby's must go!

zulma said...

We gave the A4E a chance to come to their senses and to fight to protect ALL the teachers. They chose to protect themselves. Well let them accept the consequences and your proposal is on point.

Chaz said...

I think your idea is quite smashing.

Clix said...

Is that a hipster beard or an Amish beard? ;)

Anonymous said...

Great proposal! How soon can you implement it? : )

Pete Zucker said...

You get to say "shoot his load," and I am called obscene by Anna Phillips??? ;)