Goodbye, Dolly

In a display of tastelessness that makes Sacha Baron Cohen look like Miss Manners, the American Girl company released its "Gwen" doll. Gwen is a homeless doll. She costs $95.00.

Not to be outdone, City Hall today released its Mike doll. Dressed in the finest Armani suits, the Mike doll hands out one way plane tickets to Gwen dolls and forces them to fly out of New York.

If Campaign Ads Told the Truth

Yes, I know it will never happen. But if Bloomberg put out a truthful campaign brochure on his education record, it would look quite different than the swamp of paper currently clogging everyone's snail mailbox.

Bloomberg--Change You Can Fudge with Data.

Here are some of Mayor Mike's Education Accomplishments:

• Kept class sizes from growing much larger, despite massive cash infusions from the CFE lawsuit.
• Brought pride to the parents of even the worst students by dumbing down tests to the point that an amoeba could pass them.
• Used those tests to promote more students than ever despite an end to social promotion.
• Raised teacher salaries to the point where they are a mere 40% less than some suburbs.
• Ensured that few teachers would earn those salaries by increasing the rubber room and ATR pools.
• Increased graduation rates through innovative programs such as "seat time" and just not counting a whole lot of kids who don't return to school.
• Spent 80 million on a data collection system that virtually no teacher actually uses other than the nightly log on to prove he/she uses it.
• Spent another 200 million to close schools and pay teachers to be permanent subs.
• His chancellor, Joel Klein, imposed a hiring freeze until those subs are placed, after implying that these subs are lazy and incompetent.
• Created many charter schools by allowing them, in a Blob like fashion, to eat up space that could be used to alleviate overcrowding in regular public schools.
• Did away with wasteful and time consuming nuisances such as parental input and teacher involvement.
• Eva Moscowitz.
• Ditto Joel Klein.

Can we afford not to give Michael Bloomberg another term? Probably, but he can afford to buy it anyway. So Vote to Re-Elect the Mayor. If he can't fix it, he can fudge it.

Extra Credit(s)

OK boys and girls--it's contract time once again, and you know what that means! RUMORS! Now let me state at the outset that this is just a rumor. I am not one of the 300 members of the negotiating committee. I am Michael Mulgrew.

No, just kidding. I'm an ordinary teacher with just one pension, unlike our UFT friends, so I don't know any more than you do. But the rumor is a doozy.

According to someone who knows someone who is kind of friends with someone who knows something, I can irresponsibly spread the rumor that the UFT is angling for a new salary step--45 credits above the masters.

At first blush, I thought...Nahhh...it doesn't make any sense. But then I thought about it, and from a UFT tucking in Mike Bloomberg perspective, it makes a lot of sense.

Think about it. Mulgrew negotiates the usual pattern 4% minus the .58 percent we lost to get the two days before Labor Day which we used to have but then gave away but got back. (Whew.) That's not really much of a victory, is it? But suppose they put in a new step--a 45 credit above the master's step?

Well, that changes everything. Suppose Mikey gives even a measly 2 grand for that 45 credit plateau. With the 8% over two years and the two K for the step, Bloomie could claim to have raised the top teacher salary to $110K!! Think of it! Near parity with the suburbs!

Sure, it would be a win for Mulgrew, but other than the above claim, how does it benefit Bloomie to raise teacher salaries in a time of economic stagnation? Simple. Not only does he get to claim that he's creating a pool of highly qualified teachers, but the kicker is he hardly has to pay anything! I'd bet a year's worth of UFT dues that the number of teachers with 45 credits above is probably less than 3%, so few of us would qualify. As for all the teachers who would go back to school for the extra moolah--so what? It'll take most teachers a few years to get those extra 15 credits, so Bloomie won't have to pay for this for years. Politicians love plans that let them take credit now but pay far after the election is over.

Also, it's pretty common knowledge that most teachers leave before putting in 5 years, so they have no chance of getting to 45 above. The majority of teachers take 5 years just to earn their master's, and another 3 to get the 30 above. Tack on two more years for the additional 15, and most teachers are long gone before seeing any money. Of those that make it for those ten years. they can just close your school and fire you. Or send you to the rubber room.

So sharpen those #2 pencils--it's time to go back to school! Those of you who have taken those wonderful 3G courses are no doubt salivating at the idea of taking some more. Personally, I already am well past 45 above, so unfortunately I will have to miss that distinct pleasure.

Fair is Foul

If we want to get anywhere in the current contract negotiations, we have to look for what's really wrong and try to address it. While getting us days off for swine flu and requiring counseling memos before LIFs are nice ideas, they will do nothing to address the fundamental problem facing teachers today--the insane "Fair Student Funding" fiasco.

There's nothing fair at all about FSF. Under it, schools get a set amount of money per student and have to pay for everything and everyone out of that pot of money. It's one of those things that sound good in theory--poor schools would get as much money as schools in richer districts. There's nothing inherently wrong in that, and it sounds so democratic, and so...sooo.....so darn fair!

And yet, it's anything but. The reason richer districts often got more money than poorer districts is that teacher salaries used to be paid for by the city, not individual schools. Since senior teachers often wanted to go to those schools, they got more money to pay for those teachers. The amount of money spent on other student needs was essentially the same. So instead of doing things that would make teachers want to stay in poorer neighborhoods, like fixing the schools and reducing crime, the city decided to try doing it on the cheap by putting salaries in the hands of principals. They, in turn, responded by hiring only newbie teachers who they could hire for far less than experienced educators.

Oddly, you would think that principals would be at the forefront to end FSF. After all, if their claim to want to hire the best teachers is true, they would certainly want the option of hiring the best veteran teachers without taking a punch in the pocketbook. Still, I have never heard an admin complain about FSF. They simply go out and hire cheaper teachers.

That leaves the UFT to try to do something. God help us. I'll tell you right now, no matter what the negotiators come up with regarding the ATR, rubber room, and open market issues, nothing will change as long as FSF remains in place.

And the Survey Says....

...nothing. At least nothing that I can discover. So what ever happened to the survey done at the end of last school year, asking us to evaluate Joel Klein (for the 2nd time)?

I must admit, I didn't take the survey. I don't trust the UFT to keep anything confidential, and besides, the last survey sure didn't do much to dislodge Klein. But you'd at least think that the UFT would publish the results. I'm sure they will be in line with last year's results, and have about the same effect.

Something tells me this is mixed up with the contract talks. Maybe Mulgrew is holding back pending some kind of deal. Or maybe they just forgot. With Unity, it's sometimes hard to tell whether it's stupidity or purposeful neglect of the members.

Our Side Gets a Voice

Finally, a sane and clear voice gets a platform in the mostly pro-Bloomberg press. Check out Arthur Goldstein's Op-Ed piece in the Daily News.

A Total Load

An article in Gotham Schools discusses a talk to principals by one William Ouchi, who is afraid what might happen should BloomKlein lose the election. Ouchi believes that a change-over would mean a drop in scores because a more centralized system would lead to an increase in what he calls TSL, or Total Student Load.

Here's the explanation: TSL differs from class size in that it considers the full number of students a teacher must get to know and see over the course of the day, not just in one period. “It’s not class size,” he said. “It’s the opportunity for the student to seek the teacher out during their time in school when they need help.”

I don't know about you, but my TSL has sure increased under BloomKlein. Not only do I teach more students, but I am expected to do a LOT more per student than I ever did in the pre-Klein era. What with TANs, portfolios, constant assessments, quality reviews, ARIS, and God knows what else, I spend at least triple the time on each student's paperwork than I did 8 years ago. So in my view, my TSL has increased--exponentially. I have less time than ever before to talk to kids and to get to know them on a personal basis. When students seek me out, I'm often ensconced in my room, filling out labels to stick in my TAN or filling out a spreadsheet of the strengths and weaknesses of each child. I definitely do not have time to talk to students who are "seeking me out".

In case you haven't figured it out by now, Mr. Ouchi was an early supporter of Mayor Bloomberg and an adviser to Klein, according to Gotham. That hardly speaks to his impartiality, but it sure does make his spiel seem like the total load it is.