Joel Klein Honors New Teachers!

In an email today, Joel Klein laid out his plan to make tenure more difficult to achieve. His three part plan includes: Rigorous review, Transparency, and Accountabilty. To boil it down for you, he proposed using test data, having principals talk to new teachers about how their test data isn't good enough, and having principals evaluate test data.

Klein claims that new teachers will not be evaluated on test data alone. That would be insufficient, he says. Now let's all try really hard to imagine the scenario in which a teacher with promise but below average test scores will be granted tenure. No, I can't imagine it either.

In exchange for this new review, which is most likely against state law and the spirit of the contract, Klein promises to "do more to honor the achievement of earning tenure." In Kleinspeak, he means that he considers evaluating teachers by test scores to be an honor. How he will do more is anyone's guess. Perhaps he will honor new teachers whose student portfolios are thicker than the Queens white pages, or whose TANs have their own gravitational pull. I also suspect learning to kiss the ass of your principal will become one of the biggest honors of all. If you can give your principal a prostate exam with your nose, tenure is yours.

For the record, I am not, in theory, opposed to making tenure a more challenging process. New teachers should be of the highest quality we can find, and those who can't cut it should be fired. Still, it's pretty easy to see who's cutting the mustard and who is not. And judging new teachers on test data that even the state of NY, who make the tests, have said is faulty borders on lunacy.

Let's face it--this isn't an honor, it's a power grab. Probably a third of new teachers leave of their own accord before three years are up. Of those that remain, Klein wants to get rid of anyone who doesn't meet his standards, whatever those may be. I get the feeling that few will make it, and Mayor4Life and his stooge will get what they have always wanted: a transient, temporary work force of young healthy people who will demand little in the way of health care, who will command the lowest salaries, and who will contribute to the retirement system with little hope of ever making it more than three years.

Oh yeah. And they won't dare ask for help from that pesky union for fear of their jobs. Don't you feel honored?

Citizen Klein--Gone at 63

Joel Irwin Klein, Chancellor of the NYC public schools since 2002, who had long suffered from heart problems during his entire reign as education's top dog, finally succumbed to his health issues. He was 63.

Most of the city, as well as Klein's casual acquaintences, were shocked by the news. Klein's closest intimates and advisors, however, saw the end coming. "There was something different about him in the last few days, so I knew something was wrong," said several members of the Panel for Educational Policy, in unison. "One day, he was rubbing his hands together in sadistic glee, preparing to close 19 schools. That was the Joel we knew. Then on Monday he came to Tweed whistling. That was the beginning of the end."

Mayor Bloomberg concurred. "It was obvious his heart problem had gotten the best of him. I think I actually saw him grin this morning. When he told me that he was planning to close the schools tomorrow for a snow day, I knew the end was drawing near."

Klein was rushed to Bellevue hospital and given an electrocardiogram. That test revealed what few at Tweed had ever suspected--that the chancellor had a heart.

"It wasn't much of a heartbeat," said Dr. Lance Boyle, ER physician. "But it was there. We had to take action."

According to Boyle, physicians tried desperately to save the ailing chancellor. "We did everything that medical science could do. At one point, we even considered driving a stake through his heart, but it was just too teensy. The beat persisted, and eventually we just had to accept the fact that he was human."

It was rumored as he lay on the hospital gurney, his heart monitor showing the merest glimpe of movement beyone a flatline. Klein smiled faintly and whispered, "Rosebud." Then, he announced that the schools would be closed.

There will be no funeral for Mr. Klein, but those wishing to pay their first respects are urged to build a bald headed snowman tomorrow in his honor. The chancellor's loved ones asked that they not be identified, as being a loved one of Joel Klein was difficult enough.

March for Millionaires!!!

I'm tired of all you teachers out there whining about how you want your 4% raises and your stupid health care. Is that all you can think about--feeding yourself and your family? There are bigger fish to fry. Do you realize that there are wealthy people out there whose bonuses have been cut? Yes! It's true! Just because Wall Street types and bankers nearly ran this economy into the ground with their reckless behavior, Obama wants to limit their bonuses. Can you imagine?

Well, Mayor4Life Bloomberg is not going to sit still for that! No-sir-ee! We need bankers to get those bonuses, because when the rich get more money, they spend it on things like yachts, which helps the economy. And if that weren't enough, they pay taxes on the portion of their bonuses that they haven't managed to stash away in Swiss bank accounts, which also keeps the economy humming. If the government gave money to common scum like you and me, we'd just do something stupid with it, like pay for our children to go to the doctor or keep our houses from being foreclosed on, which doesn't help the economy at all.

Bloomberg is going to be pro-active on this. He always is when it comes to defending the rich--that's the kind of guy he is. The last time the rich were threatened with--gasp!--a tax increase, Bloomberg went on the radio and declared, "We love the rich people!" This time, facing an even bigger threat in the form of reduced bonuses, Bloomberg has offered to personally give every rich person a handjob.

But even the prospect of a happy ending from Bloomberg may not be enough to satisfy the wealthy. Bloomy knows this, so he's calling upon his municipal workers to get out there and pitch in. "Cops, firefighters, teachers, all municipal workers should be down (in Washington) screaming, 'Pay Wall Street people more!'"

And who can argue with that? Let's get out there and March for Millionaires!

I know some of you are saying, "Why should I? What's in it for me?" Well, I can't promise that Bloomy will give you the same handjob as the wealthy, but I can guarantee you he'll be more than happy to service you in other ways during the upcoming labor negotiations. Be sure to bring the lube.

Dr. King Bites Bloomberg in the Ass

In this case, Bloomberg's ass being Joel Klein.

If you recall, Bloomberg recently hijacked some of Dr. King's words as a means to try to bully the state into creating more charter schools. "A right delayed is a right denied," Bloomy told us, ignoring the fact that Dr. King would have proudly supported unionism and the concept of good public schools for everyone, not just the kids creamed off the top for schools run by education hacks like Eva Moscowitz. Dr. King would have been appalled that students are crammed into classes while Eva makes 400K a year under the proud eye of the billionaire mayor.

Mayor4Life sent his stooge Klein out to smear residents of the rubber rooms, and Klein chose to villify Alan Rosenfeld in an article in the Post, a rag run by fellow billionaire Murdoch. It appears that Rosenfeld was charged 10 years ago, and according to the ICE blog, charges were largely dropped against him, with the only penalty being a week suspension. Because he was initially charged with making lewd comments, Joel Klein decided that he was not fit to return to the classroom, and Rosenfeld has languished there ever since.

I'm 100% behind my fellow blogger NYC Educator when he says that if Rosenfeld is guilty, he should be bounced out on his ass. The problem is that he was found guilty of a minor offense, was given a punishment, and that should have been the end of the story. Instead, he has been in the rubber room for 10 years, collecting a salary for not teaching.

Klein is using this as a PR tool to say that we should fire all RR teachers. But the fact is that Rosenfeld was apparently given his day in court, most of the charges against him were thrown out, and he paid a small price for the infraction they felt they could make stick.

If Klein or the DOE had evidence against this man, they should have used it 7 years ago to get him out of the system. If they had no evidence against him, as it appears they did not, he should have been returned to the classroom. But for Klein sentence him to an interminable stretch in the RR in unconscionable.

Under state law, Rosenfeld had rights, and his rights have been delayed. And as BloomKlein should know, a right delayed is a right denied. And in this case, unlike Bloomberg's bogus charter school analogy, the phrase actually fits.

Mr. Talk Plays Negotiator

Some view Mayor4Life's 2% contract offer a strong arm tactic, but I'm not so sure I agree. It's likely that M4L knows that PERB will give us the 4% we are asking for because they have always insisted on following the pattern. So I think the mayor is trying to offer us a nice shiny carrot in the hope that we'll grab it before PERB rules in our favor.

That 2% means a lot to the mayor. If he gets it, it will show him as a tough guy and fiscal watchdog, and possibly set a pattern for the next set of negotiations. So I say, let's give it to him.

In exchange for givebacks FROM HIM, of course. I'd be happy to accept the 2%. Here's what I'd ask for:

• 2% for teachers at all salary steps, not just up to 70K.


• Restoration of seniority transfers and the elimination of the open market. (This would effectively end the ATR crisis by allowing ATRs to "bump" teachers with less seniority. This move would help teachers and save the city 80 million a year--a fiscal win for Bloomy and a real win for teachers).


• An end to "Fair" student funding that makes principals want to fire senior teachers.


• The elimination of potty patrol and lunch duty.


• Restoration of the right to grieve letters in file.


• An agreement that teachers in the rubber room must have a hearing within 90 days or be returned to the classroom.

I'd ask for the elimination of 37.5 minutes, too, but I'd be willing to give that up in favor of all the above. Bloomy wouldn't ever surrender 37.5 because it would look like a big loss for him, especially since parents would notice their kids coming home earlier every day. But the other points above would hardly matter to the public at all, but they'd be a big win for teachers. M4L could claim that he saved the city millions, which would be true, and Mulgrew could claim that he got a raise while eliminating the most egregious points of the 2005 contract.

I don't think this will happen, because Unity would never want to admit what a mistake the 2005 contract was after humping it for five years. Still, you never know. This could be Mulgrew's chance to seize the reins once and for all from Randi's continued grasp and take us in a new direction. If Mulgrew has the cojones, I'd vote for such a contract. Would you?

Duncan Duh-Nut

People can legitimately disagree on the best way to fix schools. Increasingly, the solutions have been more "nuclear" in nature--closing down schools instead of fixing them, firing teachers, eliminating tenure, and so forth. I agree with none of these solutions, as I believe schools can actually be fixed relatively easily given the political will.

As much as I disagree with the education deformers, none so far has suggested blowing up the schools and starting over. It seems that this is where we might be headed, as Arne Duncan placed his stamp of approval on Hurricaine Katrina as the catalyst of improvement in the New Orleans schools system, saying:

"I've spent a lot of time in New Orleans and this is a tough thing to say but I'm going to be honest. The best thing that happened to the education system in New Orleans was Hurricane Katrina. That education system was a disaster. And it took Hurricane Katrina to wake up the community to say that we have to do better."

Good thing Duncan wasn't education secretary during 9/11, or he might have said that Osama Bin Laden didn't do enough to really wake up the NYC school system. Good ole Arne probably sees the earthquake in Haiti as an opportunity to improve the schools there as well. I'd suggest sending him there but those poor people have suffered enough.

It's time for this clown to go.

Mayor4Life Has a Small Bone...

...and he threw it to us today in the form of media negotiation of the teacher's contract. Bloomberg offered us 2% raises in each of two years, citing the fiscal crisis as his reason. He threatened to lay off 2500 teachers if he doesn't get his way. There are some problems with this offer:

• It really isn't 2% if you make over 70K. For any amount over that, the 2% doesn't apply. So if you're at top salary of 100K, you'll get the same $1400 that someone making 70K will. That is a 1.4% raise. That, pardon my French, is shit.
• There is no guarantee of any sort that accepting the 2% means the mayor won't ask for givebacks anyway. He's notorious for asking for the moon. Sometimes, like under Randi Weingarten, he also got the stars thrown in for free.
• He accepted 700 million dollars for the reduction of class sizes, which have only gone up. Laying off 2500 teachers would further increase class size. Let's dare him to try it.
• Bloomberg sees no fiscal crisis when it comes to rewarding his buddies. Just the other day, he spent 2 million of your tax dollars to hire some of the cronies who helped him get elected. He is paying most of them more than top teacher salary.
• He is still willing to pay 53 million dollars a year to keep the rubber rooms open in the hopes of getting teachers to resign before they ever get a hearing.
• He has worsened the ATR crisis by closing 19 more schools. ATRs cost the city over 80 million dollars last year, and will cost even more once these newly sentenced schools shut down.
• Bloomberg has insisted on pattern bargaining throughout his entire reign as mayor. We always had to settle for whatever pittance the other unions had to settle for, even in good economic times. Now, he wants us to break that pattern--to our detriment. All the other unions got 4% and he wants us to settle for less than half that.

The answer should be a plain and unequivocal NO. Let's say no to his small bone and his gigantic balls.