Friday, August 13, 2010

De-Kleined

Joel Klein reversed course today, deciding not to use his magical "emergency powers" to throw a group of autistic children out of their school in favor of a charter.

"The chancellor has rethought his position," said Natalie Ravitz, a Klein spokesperson whose main qualification for the job is that her name sounds vaguely like Diane Ravitch. "Mr. Klein has decided to explore other options."

When asked what those options were, Ravitz responded, "Frankly, the chancellor just didn't think throwing autistic children into the streets was evil enough, so we've expanded our search and discovered some really intriguing options. We're exploring relocating a bunch of wheelchair bound students to the top of a five story walk-up. There's also the chance that we can move some of the kids from the Manhattan School for the Blind into a trailer parked on the divider of the FDR Drive. And there's the possibility of a grant from the Gates Foundation to issue a one way ticket to Zimbabwe for all the homeless children at PS 723."

Asked whether these options might meet with similar opposition to the plan Klein was abandoning, Ravitz replied, "Well, you know, some people are just complainers. If parents don't like what's happening in New York, maybe they should send their kids off to London like my daddy did with me. Hey, did anyone see my Gucci bag?"

Meanwhile, Klein attempted used his emergency powers to jump the line at the Hair Club for Men, but was chased into the street by Sy Sperling.


Thanks to Chaz, for pointing out the amazing resemblance between Joel Klein and Kukla.

10 comments:

Chaz said...

I see you got it right. Joel Klein looks like kukla

NYC Educator said...

Very well-written. I like it!

ASTRAKA said...

A.T.
You don't have to worry about being fired.
You will be making more money by making people laugh.

What an ending!!!

"Meanwhile, Klein attempted used his emergency powers to jump the line at the Hair Club for Men, but was chased into the street by Sy Sperling."

:)))))

Pissed Off said...

Love this post.

Queens Teacher said...

Awesome post!

Ms. Havisham said...

I was really trying to avoid addressing Chaz' comparison of Joel Klein to MY BELOVED CHILDHOOD ICON KUKLA. I have to dispute this, since Kukla exudes a good nature and a great sense of humor. After all, he put up with Ollie and his dragonian antics. Furthermore, I present my own comparison: Klein VERY closely resembles Nosaferatu, from the 1922 silent movie. Check it out on You Tube. Mr. Talk, you have such a flair for comedy!! Keep on writing, we'll keep laughing.

Anonymous said...

AT, When you retire, see if you can be a writer for those sitcoms. You would make the audience die laughing!

Keep us laughing with your witty, sarcastical humor.

BronxEnglish said...

All the education bloggers I read are really wonderful writers. Mr. Talk is no exception.
A slight divergence of opinion, though, on the Kukla issue. Ms. Haversham, I am with you. Not just looks but what's inside Klein closely resembles Nosferatu. That is an extremely apt comparison.

Anonymous said...

Stop giving the S.O.B. ideas.

Ms. Havisham said...

Thank you, BronxEnglish. Anonymous 11:14, I would not go so far as to call the "reforms" of the past several years "ideas". Actual thought goes into the creation of an idea.