Joel Klein reversed course today, deciding not to use his magical "emergency powers" to throw a group of autistic children out of their school in favor of a charter.
"The chancellor has rethought his position," said Natalie Ravitz, a Klein spokesperson whose main qualification for the job is that her name sounds vaguely like Diane Ravitch. "Mr. Klein has decided to explore other options."
When asked what those options were, Ravitz responded, "Frankly, the chancellor just didn't think throwing autistic children into the streets was evil enough, so we've expanded our search and discovered some really intriguing options. We're exploring relocating a bunch of wheelchair bound students to the top of a five story walk-up. There's also the chance that we can move some of the kids from the Manhattan School for the Blind into a trailer parked on the divider of the FDR Drive. And there's the possibility of a grant from the Gates Foundation to issue a one way ticket to Zimbabwe for all the homeless children at PS 723."
Asked whether these options might meet with similar opposition to the plan Klein was abandoning, Ravitz replied, "Well, you know, some people are just complainers. If parents don't like what's happening in New York, maybe they should send their kids off to London like my daddy did with me. Hey, did anyone see my Gucci bag?"
Meanwhile, Klein attempted used his emergency powers to jump the line at the Hair Club for Men, but was chased into the street by Sy Sperling.
Thanks to Chaz, for pointing out the amazing resemblance between Joel Klein and Kukla.