Nothing to Sneeze At

What we really need in this swine flu epidemic is leadership. I think Mayor Mike and Joek Klein should go every school in which 15% or more of students are home sick. That would show how minor this outbreak really is, which is what they keep telling us from a podium at least 12 feet away from other humans. If they come to my school, I've prepared a little welcome ditty for them, which will be performed by the three students remaining in my class.

Sung to the tune of Dear Old Donegal:


It seems like only yesterday, I was bustin' with good health,
But I was forced to go to school by a man of massive wealth.
And so, to show my gratitude, I'd like that man to see,
The child who coughed up half a lung and gave the flu to me.

Shake hands with Mayor Mike, me boy, and sneeze on Chancellor Klein,
Show 'em the smile beneath your mask, before you got the swine.
Make sure you thank the both of them and kiss the mayor, too.
There's nothing at all to worry about, with H1N1 flu.

(Spit up phlegm, then Repeat Chorus)