Man in the Mirror

Who does Michael Mulgrew see when he looks in the mirror? Does he see the newly minted president of a once powerful labor organization, or does he see....Randi Weingarten?

The question isn't a frivolous one. Whenever anyone takes over the helm of a huge operation--from Barack Obama on down--they must ask themselves whether they intend to steer the ship in their own direction or passively allow it to float along the same course. In Mulgrew's case, doing the latter would place the UFT on the same metaphorical path as the Titanic. Because Randi stood on the bow and said, "Iceberg? What iceberg?", we need Mulgrew to say, "Let's right this ship."

In my view, Randi went off course when she decided that she could please everyone and be conciliatory. The press and politicians heaped praise on her and she ate it up, gobbling up as much power and influence as she could along the way. She always had her sights on bigger goals, such as the AFT presidency she now holds. She even came close to being a senator and the Ed Secretary, all because she saw compromise as the path to her own personal triumph.

To get back on course, Mulgrew must--starting with this contract--redefine the role of UFT president. He must realize and act upon the idea that he is working for teachers--not the city, and not the children of New York. His one and only resposibilty is to strengthen the union by making sure teachers have respect, decent pay, security, and a reasonable work environment. If we really want to benefit children, the best way to do so is to make sure that we have a dedicated pool of qualified teachers who are happy to come in and do their jobs each and every day.

Now is the time, Mr. Mulgrew. To wait is to go further off course and make the turn around much more difficult. Remember who you work for, Mr. Mulgrew, and remember who it is you want to see in the mirror every morning.

7 Questions from Philip Nobile

When I asked for questions to ask Michael Mulgrew, I received 7 questions from Philip Nobile, whose name I am using with his permission. He has an interesting story---one which is increasingly common in the current DOE. His tale was told in the New York Times, and it should act as a cautionary tale for us all. You can read all about it here and here.

I think Mulgrew owes him an answer to his questions. I repost them below.

1 Do you trust Klein's numbers on rising test scores and graduation rates?

2 Do you agree with Diane Ravitch that state tests are "exemplars of inflation"?

3 Does the UFT have an ethical obligation to speak out re Klein's dubious statistical claims? If so, what is stopping you?

4 Is it UFT strategy to keep silent on the DOE's incredible claims and instead take credit for the increases in order to enhance contract negotiations?

5 Twenty-four of 27 UFT chapter leaders told me last spring that test tampering occurred at their schools. There are current cheating scandals in Chicago and Washington, D.C. Do you think that tampering by administrators and teachers a significant problem in the city system and a key factor in rising scores and grad rates?

6 The Chicago Teachers Union cooperated on a cheating survey with the Chicago Sun-Times. Would you support a similar survey of New York City teachers to determine the scope of cheating and the incentives involved (e.g., pressure from principals, bonuses, job retention, etc.)?

7 Would you support some type of blind grading to eliminate cheating?

The Many Faces of the Mayor-for-Life

Maybe you've seen the ad. It's been plastered all over the airwaves. Bill Thompson is being portrayed as a hypocrite for a position he supposedly took opposing the millionaire's tax. The ad overlooks the fact that Mayor-for-Life Bloomberg also opposes it, and has raised the cost of living for middle class New Yorkers in many ways, including water rates that went up 12.9% in the middle of a recession and housing crisis. Of course, Bloomberg can afford to flush his toilets with Perrier for the next million years without feeling the pinch.

The larger question is, who is really the hypocrite here? Isn't Mayor4Ever the man who opposed Rudy Giuliani staying on for 3 extra months in the aftermath of 9/11, yet claimed that he had to give himself another four years so he could save us from the fiscal crisis? Hasn't he been the mayor been in charge during the entire span of the fiscal downturn? Nice job, Mr. Mayor.

Isn't this the mayor who banned cake sales in the schools while stuffing himself with unhealthy garbage?

Isn't this the mayor who once called any attempt to overturn term limits "disgusting"? I guess it didn't seem so disgusting last year when Mayor Eternal and his minions on the city council voted to give themselves a chance to run for a 3rd term.

Instead of voting to limit Bloomberg to two terms, we should have voted to limit him to one face.

But what would be the point? He'd have the law overturned anyway.

Mulgrew Enters the Danger Zone

I just got word that Michael Mulgrew, our new and seemingly affable UFT prez, is coming to my school one day next week. He'll only be there for a short while, but as luck would have it, I will be off the period he'll be there. I should be able to get a word in edgewise.

So, I'm leaving it up to all of you. I should be able to get in one question to Mulgrew, so what should it be? Submit your questions, and I'll select the most interesting or obnoxious to ask. Fire away.

This Takes the Cake!

Literally. Mayor-for-Life Bloomberg has banned bake sales in public schools.

Determined to micromanage every aspect of children's lives, including what passes through their digestive systems, Hizzoner Eternal has made an exception for dark brownies and lemon bars, which may be sold once a month. Why? Because HE has spoken.

Mayor-for-Life claims that he's doing this for the health of children. This has not stopped His Mayoralty from jeopardizing his own health with a steady diet of salt and fat laden foods. That is different, of course. Bloomberg is a billionaire and gets what he wants. We common folk need to be led by the hand.

Getting a Fake TAN

It's sad, really. I often see newbie teachers doing things that suck away their time but have no educational benefit whatsoever. They do these things because they are told to by admins, who are told to tell them to by quality review or whatever other Powers That Be. Sadder still, the newbies often actually believe that these things have value because it is drilled into their heads. A case in point: the TAN.

It doesn't matter what you teach these days. Pretty much everyone is required to keep a Teacher Assessment Notebook on their students. The purpose, allegedly, is to keep data on students so that you may individualize instruction. The real purpose, of course, is to keep teachers so busy that we can't do things like relax or talk to our colleagues about how stupid TANs are.

In truth, TANs are useless. Any teacher worth her salt knows the strengths and weaknesses of her students within the first couple of weeks. Collecting data every time a student passes wind only serves to make your TAN larger, which may benefit you in terms of muscle tone and stronger bones from lugging the damn thing around, but has zero effect on your teaching. In fact, every minute you spend on your TAN has a negative effect on your teaching, because that's a minute you could have spent writing effective lesson plans or working directly with kids.

So, newbie teachers, I advise you to do what most savvy veteran teachers do: fake your TAN. The trick is to stuff your TAN with so much information that no admin in their right mind would want to look at it or question what you are doing. I learned this technique, oddly enough, from my accountant one year. I had a simple tax year, yet she produced about 40 pages of forms to submit to the IRS. When I asked her why, she simply stated, "Would any IRS agent in their right mind audit this?" She is a genius.

Following her model, here is how you can fake your TAN:

1. Get a huge ass binder. I mean huge.
2. Print out every single thing on ARIS for every single student. Print it on 3 hole punch paper and put in your TAN. This alone adds a pound to your data, and poundage counts.
3. Whenever you talk to a student, even if it's about the need for a bathroom pass, announce in a loud, clear voice, "WE ARE CONFERENCING NOW". When admins ask your kids whether you conference with them, they'll know what to say.
4. Keep a lot of rosters handy. Whenever you are about to teach anything, write it on a roster and check off most of the names to indicate which students need to learn this. Date it two days before you teach that lesson. Three hole punch it and put it in your TAN. If an admin asks how your data drives your instruction, show them the rosters. They will love you and offer to have your children.
   
5. Labels are your friend. If you teach math, for example, print a page of labels that say "Understands multiplication of fractions" and a page that says "Does not understand multiplication of fractions." Affix a label to each student's page in your TAN. If you do this once every two weeks, you'll have 20 labels for each child by year's end. Your TAN will be shown to others as an example to be followed. Try not to snicker.

That's all the advice I have for now. If anyone knows any other neat TAN tricks, please post in the comments section. If we work together in the spirit of fake collaboration, we can accomplish almost anything.

Goodbye, Dolly

In a display of tastelessness that makes Sacha Baron Cohen look like Miss Manners, the American Girl company released its "Gwen" doll. Gwen is a homeless doll. She costs $95.00.

Not to be outdone, City Hall today released its Mike doll. Dressed in the finest Armani suits, the Mike doll hands out one way plane tickets to Gwen dolls and forces them to fly out of New York.