Paris for US Senate

With it looking more and more like a fait accompli that Caroline Kennedy will be appointed the next US senator from New York, it's time that public spirited citizens make a last ditch effort to suggest new names to Governor Patterson in hopes that he sees the light (yeah, I said that).

Caroline has a lot going for her. She is rich, well-heeled, and a socialite heiress. While I'm sure we can all agree that those are the most important traits a prospective senator can possess, she is still missing something. For example, she has never campaigned before, so her run for re-election in 2010 is an unknown. She has some difficulty with public speaking. Her ability to raise funds for the Democratic Party has never been tested. And no one knows where she stands on this issues.

I'm offering a solution. Paris Hilton. She is rich, a socialite, and an heiress to the Hilton Hotel fortune, so she matches up well with Caroline in those respects. But Paris offers more. She has campaigned before, having made a run for the presidency in 2008. She has no difficulty with public speaking other than to call people her bitches on occasion, but that's better than a lot of "you knows" and "uhms". Paris knows how to generate cash. Finally, we do know where Paris stands. She supports gay marriage and has a comprehensive energy plan, "Barack wants to focus on new technologies to cut foreign oil dependency and McCain wants offshore drilling. Well, why don’t we do a hybrid of both candidates’ ideas? We can do limited offshore drilling with strict environmental oversight while creating tax incentives to get Detroit making hybrid and electric cars. That way the offshore drilling carries us until the new technologies kick in which will then create new jobs and energy independence. Energy crisis solved."

What's her stand on education? I'm not sure, but if I had to guess, I think she'd probably say that it's kinda hard.

Well, that's my take. Any other nominations?

Kudos to NYC Educator

NYC Educator's blog was just named the number 13 education blog. Let me just say that this is a highly deserved accolade. I was a reader of and a participant in NYC's blog long before I started this one, and NYC gave me valuable advice and a few plugs to get this blog off the ground.

I've only been at this a little more than a month, and my admiration for people like NYC has grown by leaps and bounds since that time. I have no idea how he finds the time and energy to constantly update his blog, but I know he always does it with great humor and an incisive mind.

Congrats, NYC.

A Letter to Randi

I've been getting a lot of mail from Randi Weingarten lately. Much of it started with the presidential campaign, when Randi urged me to vote for Hillary. She even spelled my name in all caps, as in Dear MR. A. TALK, to show me how special I am to her. Soon after she asked me to support Barack Obama. Today, I received another highly personalized message from Randi, urging me to fax my representatives to show my support for the stimulus package.

I certainly will do so. After all, the stimulus package will be a boon to education and teachers, containing as it does...wait, I have a copy here somewhere...I know it helps teachers somehow. I beg your indulgence as I peruse the document...let's see...it helps bankers, and retailers, and Wall Street brokers, and.... Oops, my bad. It doesn't help teachers at all.

I guess I am just an optimist. I keep waiting for that letter from Randi that will urge me to walk a picket line on behalf of ATRs, fax the mayor demanding the abolition of rubber rooms, or informing me that the UFT intends to sue the state and city for utterly failing to implement the CFE funds to reduce class size.

Last time I checked, the UFT was taking more than a thousand dollars a year from me for union dues. That works out to more than 80 million annually in the UFT's coffers. Excuse me for asking, but at what point will some--ANY--of that money be put towards supporting the members instead of Arne Duncan? Will a dime be spent toward opposing the mayoral control of schools that has been such a disaster for teachers, parents, and students alike?

Has our union totally lost its purpose? It is supposed to work for us. Call me harsh if you like, but I don't want even one more letter from Randi asking me to help the victims of Katrina until I get a letter telling me how the UFT is going to help the teachers who are victims of an out of control educational oligarchy.

So, here's my letter to Randi:

Dear MS. RANDI WEINGARTEN:

Do your job!

Love, MR. TALK

There's No Place Like Home

Dorothy was right. There's no place like home. Unfortunately, there's no school like home, either. At least not any more.

Despite my crabbing, I actually like my school very much. The students are great, the building is clean though overcrowded, and the administration leaves me alone to a great extent. Sometimes I wonder why I'm not happier in my school, considering the place I came from. Then today, it kind of hit me. My school isn't like home.

I don't expect them to provide me with a sofa and a big screen TV, but school used to be a lot more like home. Many of my teacher friends were close friends--not just 8-3 friends like I have now. Teachers prided themselves on how long they had been in a particular place--there was a sense of attachment and loyalty, just as in a family.

The teacher's lounge used to be a hub of social activity. Today, it's a place where you had better watch your words because there's bound to be someone around who'll report any negative comments to the administration.

It's the same for the students, I am sure. They come to school and are sent through the test prep grind. Teachers dare not bestow an encouraging pat on the back, and all joking is out the window, because God forbid if some student takes what you say the wrong way. Rubber room time.

School used to be like The Waltons. Everyone had their peccadilloes but we all basically got along and wanted the best for each other. These days, school is much more like Married with Children. My previous school was closer to the Manson family.

I don't think we'll ever make much progress in education until all the participants (I hate the word stakeholders) feel at home--as if they are part of an actual community. If anyone has any ideas on how we can achieve this, I'd love to hear.

It won't be easy. Bloomberg wants schools to be more like factories and less like Saturday night with the Cleavers.

I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

Higher Standards?

Joel Klein appeared on NY1's Inside City Hall program tonight and endorsed Caroline Kennedy for US senate. In so saying, he claimed that Ms. Kennedy has "a wealth of experience in terms of thinking about education."

HUH?

The man who talks endlessly about higher standards now considers thinking about education the same as having experience in education? Of course, we must remember the source. Klein is a man who spent about 5 minutes in front of a classroom and still thought himself qualified to be Secretary of Education.

Mayor Mike Takes a Stand

I admit it's a bizarre question, but bear with me: Have you ever seen the mayor sitting? The guy is always standing up. I did a Google image search on this topic (no cracks about how I need a hobby, please) and I could only find a few images of Hizzoner on Hizzbutt. And when he is sitting, he looks extremely uncomfortable, as if perched on an unusually large cactus.

Oddly enough, what started me thinking about this is baseball season. It's on the horizon, and I'm looking to get some tickets for the Mets at the new CitiField. The only place they are available right now is on Stubhub. The prices? Astronomical. The reason? CitiField has 10,000 fewer seats than the old Shea Stadium. Even the new Yankee Stadium has about 5,000 fewer seats. Mayor Bloomberg was involved in the finanancing of both stadiums.

So, what gives? What's with the mayor's deep-seated (!) fear of seats? Why do all his pet projects seems to end up with fewer places to park one's posterior than they once had?

None of this would matter much except for two things: we paid with our tax dollars for the privilege of fewer stadiums seats that none of us can afford to buy, and this mania extends to our schools. After seven years of Bloomberg, schools have fewer seats than ever.

We shouldn't take this lying down. Let's send the mayor walking.

A Shoe-In for the Mayor

No, I don't mean he's a shoo-in for a third term. In fact, if we can start a trend, he may end his tenure at two terms. It began the other day, when Pro-Palestinians threw shoes at a photo of Mayor Bloomberg to protest his support of Israel (one of the few things I agree with him on). I suggested that teachers hold a Shoe-In to protest his educational policies, with 80,000 of us slinging shoes at a picture of Hizzoner on the steps of City Hall.

Over at Ed Notes Online, Norm suggested that we begin faculty conferences with an anti-Bloomy Shoe-In. While I like that idea, I'd rather do it at union meetings (assuming your school still has union meetings). It would be like an Orwellian Two-Minute's Hate, with the mayor's mug projected on a screen while we all shout obscenities at him and throw shoes. Think of it! Real action at a union meeting! According to Orwell, one way to get people motivated is to unite them against a common enemy. And if any union needs to get its people motivated, it's the UFT.

I know what you're thinking. Why Bloomy? Why not Keds for Klein? Not a spare sandal for Randi? Not a boot for Bush? I don't know about you, but I just don't have enough shoes to spare for all the people who've screwed up this system.