Imagine DOE Style

While doing my traditional holiday shopping online, I ran across a game for the Nintendo DS called Imagine Teacher. You get to do all kinds of neat stuff in this game, like plan lessons, grade papers, and best of all, shut it off when you get sick of your students. Here's Amazon's description:

Play as a rookie teacher who takes over a class in a newly built modern school. At the beginning your class only has a few kids because most of the kids in town are used to going to a school located in the next town over. It is your job to bring those students back to make your classroom and school the best place to learn. The game really begins when you meet some characters who don't want you to succeed.

That last line got me thinking. Who is it who doesn't want you to succeed? Does Joel Klein suddenly pop up on the screen and deny you tenure? It seems to me there's a potential game series here, and I offer these ideas free to the game's manufacturer, Ubi Soft, in hopes they will give kids a real picture of what it's like to teach. Here are some possible titles:

Imagine: Leadership Academy Principal. Watch your school go down the toilet when a principal from the Leadership Academy takes over! Stare in disbelief as your once pristine file starts to look like the Manhattan phone book! And that's just for starters! You'll encounter exciting mini-games along the way, such as Spot the Rat in the Teacher's Lounge, The Observation Game (U rated for adults), and Fix that Bulletin Board. Watch helplessly as your school's scores on state tests plummet, and if you're lucky, you can move on to...

Imagine: ATR Status. When your school is closed, you can move up to ATR status! You're no longer a rookie, but a teacher on a mission. You'll go on an endless series of adventures, such as Searching the Open Market, Attending Job Fairs, and Trying to Fit In at the Teacher's Lounge. Make it through a week of teaching and you'll unlock a secret level where you can meet a cartoon version of Ariel Sacks and engage in mini-games like Being Looked Down Upon and Find the Hidden Chalk. Play carefully, or you'll end up in our next game...

Imagine: Rubber Room. This action adventure starts with the heart pounding excitement of having OSI show up at your school and cart you away in handcuffs, and that's only the beginning! Feel the excitement of a real kangaroo court as you try to figure out the charges against you. The fun continues as you play musical chairs with other rubber room dwellers and stake your claim to floor space. Endure for two years and you'll unlock the special 3020A level, in which you'll be appointed a UFT lawyer and face an administrative hearing officer who has narcolepsy. Persevere and you'll be slapped with a fine, but watch out for that guilty verdict or you'll find yourself playing Imagine: Unemployment Line.