Michael Mulgrew's Pick Up Lines

I don't know whether the NY Post's story about Michael Mulgrew's dalliance with a guidance counselor in his wood shop at William Grady HS is true. If it is, my guess is that Randi Weingarten was behind it all and set the whole thing up. You see, Mulgrew was a rising star in the UFT at the time. Randi needed to know whether Mulgrew was capable of screwing UFT members. If he couldn't screw one, he'd surely be unfit to be UFT President, where he would be called upon to screw the entire membership on a regular basis.

Now, nothing personal, but Mulgrew doesn't exactly look like a chick magnet. It got me thinking about what kind of killer line Mulgrew must have used to lure this woman into his lair. I'd like to suggest a few possibilities:

How'd you like to come over to my shop and see my wood?
Wanna ride the saw horse?
If you like those tools, I've got a surprise for you.
Weingarten isn't the only one who's randy.
I bet when we're done, you'll give me a Satisfactory.
That bird cage isn't the only thing in here I'd like to drill.
You and I could make our own union.
My head isn't the only thing I shave.
It's not the contract I want to violate.
Yes, I have my master's. Plus eight, if you get my drift.

Frankly, I hope all these allegations against Mulgrew are false. It wouldn't hurt him to find out what it's like for teachers who are wrongly charged with improper conduct. Maybe he'd understand why it's not OK for teachers who've done nothing wrong to be sent to the ATR pool for years.

Mostly I hope it's false because I want to believe he cares more for the members in his union than the one in his pants.